Endless talk of all things sparkly.

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We’re Rating Scarecrow Brooches Now

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Welcome to the wonderful world of mid-century scarecrow brooches!

Oh, sorry–you thought we were gonna stop giving you nightmare fuel after that pearl story? Haha ok.

A primer, just in case: scarecrows are… I mean they’re pretty self-explanatory? They are supposed to scare crows. They’re human-esque figures made of straw (usually) and old clothing, propped in the middle of the crops. As long as people have lived in rural situations, there have been scarecrows, though early Egyptians and Greeks used simple carved wood figures instead of straw.

Okay, so now let’s move ahead to midcentury America (the 20th century, to be clear), where jewelry trends started to get wild and wacky. The war is over, the economy is booming, and people are really into scarecrows. The shift from rural to suburban had begun, so the culture was shifting, but the idea of America — golden waves of grain America — was still connected to farming. Not to mention the Wizard of Oz film adaptation had come out not long before, in 1939, featuring a very beloved scarecrow character who, after living a “brainless” existence, goes on to be the wisest creature in all the land.

Maybe there was something in the air as America moved forward to housing tracts and office jobs that inspired the collective consciousness to claim the scarecrow — after all, it symbolized protection and newfound intelligence, and nobody’s gonna turn that down.

Or maybe I’m overthinking this and people just wanted to wear weird-ass jewelry!

What you’re about to see was specifically cherry-picked for your viewing pleasure, but you can find MANY more examples of scarecrow jewelry if you so desire. (And that’s not even counting the stuff that was probably melted over the past 40 years because it was out of style. We mourn for those pieces.)

Away we go!

Steve

14K Diamond & Ruby Pin

I went through a real journey with this guy, who shall henceforth be known as Steve. First, I congratulated myself as I pithily rated him as the obvious stuff of nightmares, writing that Ari Aster should make a Midsommar spin-off called The Scarecrow Takes Sweden (get it… like The Muppets Take Manhattan but… scarecrow horror), based solely around Steve and his traumatic backstory. Then I thought: actually, Steve, buddy, what is the backstory? What’s with the rictus smile? Who hurt you? Put your hat back on and get outta here — you deserve better. 

Rating: 10/10 I now love Steve and wish him all the best.

hypnosis front

hypnosis back

14k Multi-gem Scarecrow Brooch 

Sure, the endless blue orb that is his head is a beautiful sapphire, but it may also be an alternate dimension? The more you stare, the more you see your own reflection and wonder what your purpose on this earth is. Also, look at the back and tell me there isn’t something more going on here! He’s trying to hypnotize you! This little dude is also articulated, which means he moves. To summarize for those not keeping track: he can move and hypnotize you. Draw your own conclusions. 

Rating: 5/10 Creepy, but I like his shoes.

Spritzer lady

Spritzer and Fuhrman Enamel & Diamond Pin 

This lady scarecrow is actually so fashionable that I am… jealous of her? Talk about Audrey Hepburn vibes! She’s somehow making that single twig of a leg look like a ballerina on pointe. 

Rating: 8/10 Women should support other women.

 

witch

Originally from Ruby Lane, found on Pinterest

This was used for a spell and you will never convince me otherwise. 

Rating: 9/10 This should be self-explanatory, but this high score is because you should never insult a witch.

TED

18K Enamel and Diamond Vintage Scarecrow Brooch

This guy will repeat everything you said in the meeting, but louder, so he gets the credit. You can tell because he’s wearing a tie and it’s like, “Ted, what scarecrow needs a tie?”

Rating: 1/10 It sucks to work with these guys but you get good stories out of the experience, so. (“Remember that time I worked with that scarecrow Ted and that tacky tie he always wore?”)

 

Goofball

18K & Diamond Scarecrow Pin

What a goofball! Can you even? He’s truly just happy to be here. Down for whatever. Willing to hang as you run errands. Would give you the diamonds off his knees if you needed them. Can absolutely water your plants when you’re out of town. Gives you his designer rope belt because he says it would look better on you. 

Rating: 10/10 We are now best friends. He’s currently cat-sitting for me.

Lipstick

Lipstick Scarecrow

The truth is that, even though it is marketed otherwise, MAC’s Russian Red isn’t for everyone. Let’s you and I go to Sephora and try out some plum shades, yeah? You’re an autumn, right?

Rating: 6/10 Very relatable. We’ve all picked a lipstick that looked great in the tube with the extremely high hopes that it would suit our complexion.

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