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Newsflash: There are NO RULES to Engagement Rings, Married or Not!

Gem Gossip engagement ring

My engagement ring, all original Victorian diamond bypass ring

Gem Gossip Engagement ring

My newly acquired alternative, "everyday" engagement ring from MaeJean Vintage

Men's Wedding Bands | Gem Gossip

My husband's one-finger stack of all his wedding bands, he likes to change out depending on what he is wearing/doing each day

Engagement rings...wedding bands...what is it with these symbolic pieces of jewelry that have so many people embracing the idea of wearing the same ring everyday for the rest of their life?  It is monumental to think about really.  In a world where every person seems to have differing opinions on just about everything, we all can agree to wear a ring on our left hand, ring finger when we decide to marry. But really, it is so much more than just "deciding to marry," and I think that in of itself is the whole meaning behind the ring--what it represents, vows and all. HOWEVER...

The rules of engagement rings and wedding bands have been on my mind a lot lately and I think it is because I am one who eagerly is open to breaking rules, especially conventional ones (I'm still catching snide comments for not changing my last name). My husband and I love our wedding jewelry. My engagement ring is easily my favorite ring I own (which says a lot)...it is incredibly special to me, heavily symbolic and overtime has become its own celebrity. People know me for my ring...it has been Googled thousands of times, which is slightly alarming. My husband's wedding band is very special to him--I bought it shortly after we got engaged and it is the most expensive piece of jewelry I've ever purchased to date (which, again, says a lot). With all that being said, we don't wear our rings every day. And even more so, it's not a big deal. Some days we feel like wearing them, other times we wear no jewelry at all, even crazier, we wear different rings on that left hand, ring finger. In fact, my husband has SEVERAL (noted in the photo above) rings he wears as his wedding band, not just the one we exchanged on our wedding day.  As a couple who enjoys fashion and getting dressed in the morning, anyone else who can understand that and is also passionate about fashion knows that rules are the worst. I say, if you don't feel like wearing something one day, why should you force yourself to wear it?!  Why do we as a society automatically assume someone is in marital troubles when they are spotted without their wedding ring? Why can't they just be having a fashion revelation or just plain didn't want to wear the ring? For someone like me, wearing the same ring every single day is the definition of insanity. I know Albert Einstein said something like that... (lol)

I know I don't have answers to these rhetorical questions I've just posed, but I felt I wanted to get these ideas and words out--maybe start a conversation and get other's opinions. Would love to know what you think about this subject--do you wear your engagement ring and wedding band everyday? If your significant other didn't wear their ring one day, do you get mad? Why?

I've also been actively searching for a more "user-friendly" engagement ring for everyday wear, as mine is so delicate (being Victorian, characteristically thin for the style of it) and I've had a few "close calls" banging it around and getting it caught on things. I still want to wear it as much as possible, but I've found an alternative and I'm really excited about it. I wanted a sapphire cluster for an alternative engagement ring and when I saw the one pictured above posted by MaeJean Vintage, I knew it was the one.  I love the tear-drop shape of it, as I had been set on a large oval cluster (like Princess Diana's, now Princess Kate's ring). For some reason, the look was not "me." This one sang its own tune when I slipped it on my hand.  Next plan of action is to get a genuine sapphire cut to replace the current synthetic.  I'll keep you along for the transformation journey! And thanks MaeJean Vintage, you girls have some serious treasure hunting skills!!

 

xoxoGemGossip

WANT MORE? You may also enjoy seeing the jewelry I wore on my wedding day.


Reader Comments (16)

I completely agree with you! When I get married one day, I plan on having various ring options, including not wearing one every day if that suits me. :)

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Roseveare

I change up the bands I wear with my engagement ring a lot so I concur. But I believe this iconoclastic approach should go even further, to the form of the rings themselves eg my wedding bands are silver, which is a big no no for most people. I feel like there's a prevailing notion that wedding rings should only be made out of 'precious' elements such as gold/ platinum but not only that, a ring can't be 'precious' to the wearer unless it's made out of said precious metals. It's strange to me because marriages are, as people also, by nature imperfect, and the dings and wear on my wedding rings, which will be particularly bad since they're silver, will reflect both the good times and the bad that I've worked so hard to weather. That being said, I do understand the beauty of gold and I would like to eventually upgrade my collection, but alas my budget doesn't stretch to that yet. The other custom in wedding/e rings that irks me,(especially since my own e-ring is a memento mori piece by NZ vegan taxidermist/ jeweler Julia de Ville with a unpopular gray purple coloured Spinel and my wedding bands are of skulls and snakes) is that if it's not 'classic' (read 'plain') and diamonds then it's somehow not a 'real' e-ring. I for one wish I could see more interesting, symbolic/ representational and meaningful wedding jewelry, like your beautiful Moi et Toi or Maura of Vulpecula's awesome tentacle wedding band, so thank you for the hard work that you put into your blog, it's allowed me to vicariously enjoy the beauty of jewels at a time when I can't afford to get any of my own!

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterqueenshaboo

sometimes i wear my wedding/e rings, sometimes my great-grandmother's. often i wear no wedding/e rings, but opt for others in my collection- vintage amber, delicate victorian, chunky modern. i mix metals and colors and styles and eras, often wearing multiple rings on multiple fingers to match or contrast to whatever arm party collection of bracelets i'm wearing. add to that layered necklaces, a brooch or two, earrings, and when my hair is up, gem'set or carved combs. a very eclectic, hippie boho look but it suits my personality, but it works for me!

July 16, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkat newkirk

I haven't heard of men changing their wedding bands to suit their outfits. But I like the idea and think my fiance would be keen to have a few.
Thanks for sharing!

July 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGabby

After being a jeweler for 46 years , I have seen it all. My wife was a nurse and she could not wear a ring on her job. Most of the new styles today are going to be my favorite down the road for very expensive repair. Heck I don't care . BTW , I cannot wear a ring for I have Dupupytrenes in both of my hands.

July 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Brown

This information is impressive..I am inspired with your post writing style & how continuously you describe this topic. After reading your post,thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel happy about it and I love learning more about this topic

July 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMK bappy

We like your point on view on the topic of wedding bands and engagement rings and how untraditional your thinking is, we like that a lot! It adds a lot of freshness to a tradition that is as old as time and still we can see that you have respect to this tradition of showing love. We like your collection of rings too!

July 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJewelers Around

Great post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. It is so interesting that so many of us accept to wear just the same ring forever. It’s definitely so important for the ring to reflect you, not just because you will wear it often (if not always) but because it is a reflection of a very important and valuable commitment. Switching around your rings or trying ‘daring’ or ‘different’ styles should be encouraged for this reason. It’s all personal. Seeking out a professional jeweler to design a unique creation just for you can be a great idea too to capture this.

July 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane Elizabeth

I absolutely agree with you! Sometimes you just need to change it up or are doing an activity that might damage a particular ring! I have a very plain yellow gold band as my wedding ring that I wear all the time - chosen as it goes with everything and is very durable... and several e-rings that I choose from each day depending what I am up to and what I feel like. Thank you for your post!

July 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I love the idea of changing up wedding rings. My wife has a particularly sentimental ring that was passed down from my grandmother and while it will always be the ONE wedding ring she also has a small white gold and tourmaline ring that was made when we first got married. We were young and at the time didn't have much money but this alternative ring has also become very special to us.

July 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterryanchap

It's my first visit to your blog, and I couldn't agree with you more. Lovely post!

July 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBlueMoonBits

I like your thought, but I love to wear my Engagement Ring everyday. It’s a solitaire diamond ring with pave diamond setting which goes with my every dress.

August 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRosie Roy

I wear different rings on my wedding finger all the time. I guess one perk of owning a jewelry business is that my husband makes all his 'practice' rings in my size. Sometimes I'll wear something big and gaudy, other times I'll just throw on a plain band or signet ring. For me it's not so much wearing the same ring every single day as it is just wearing something there to show I'm off the market.

I'm not big into following rules when it comes to fashion or anything else, but I think it might hurt my feelings if my husband didn't wear some form of a wedding band.

August 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany C.

Having a mixed Indian, Latin and European heritage, I have many different customs for wearing wedding rings. Unlike "traditional" American style of wearing the engagement ring on top of the wedding band, Puerto Ricans wear their engagement ring under the wedding band because the person promised to love and marry you. Once you get married, the wedding band is placed on top of the engagement ring because they're sealing their promise. So when I do wear my engagement ring with a band, that's how I wear it. Also, I've worn my wedding set on my right hand because that's how my German grandfather used to do it. My parents never wore their rings because of their jobs. My parents never wore their rings because they just didn't like jewelry. I love jewelry but I rarely wear mine also because I love wearing different rings depending on my mood. There are no rules. Do what you like or start a new tradition.

August 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

I really like your idea of switching up rings frequently, depending on what you are wearing. My husband and I both of wedding bands, but I've always wanted to get a little something extra to go with it. I wouldn't mind getting an extra engagement ring that I could wear on my left hand. It would be really nice to have multiple options. Maybe I would get one that is gold, and then one that is white gold or platinum.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie Allen

Totally late to the party but rendering my opinion - I feel like a lot of current American culture puts so much importance on the engagement ring, especially for women, because it's supposed to be as big as you can possibly afford (or not afford, just finance it for the next five years!) I like my engagement ring, but it's not my favorite piece of jewelry. However, I LOVE my wedding band, because my husband and I had ours hand carved to match, and I know there's no one in the world like ours.

I like to ask women, if they were getting mugged, and the robber said they could keep one piece of their every day jewelry, what they would wear. It's interesting to hear what people say! I feel like most say engagement ring because it's the most expensive. I say my wedding band. My mom says the diamond ring that was her grandma's.

March 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

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